On Being Content

Getting ready in the morning, I was thinking about all the money we had spent repairing the car the last few weeks. I said to myself, “I am never going to get where I want to be.” I realized my error quickly and said, “I should have said God is never going to get me where I want to be.” I shook my head as I realized I still did not have it right and I tried again. I said, “Apparently God is going to get me where He wants me to be and I need to learn to be content with that.” Finally… I could stop talking out loud to myself and finish getting ready.

I sighed and kept getting ready as I realized the truth in my third sentence to myself. I know God is my provider and I regularly submit to it, and yet I so easily go back to having an illusion of control. It is such a balancing act. I certainly believe that I do need to do my part and wisely manage the money God has entrusted me with and I believe I need to work to earn money in an honorable way, but on the other hand I can’t believe that by doing what I am supposed to, that I have any control.

I struggled with 1 Chronicles 29:11 – 13 when I had to memorize it for Crown years ago, but it has come back to me often. “11 Yours, O Lord, is the greatness and the power and the glory and the majesty and the splendor, for everything in heaven and earth is yours. Yours, O Lord, is the kingdom; you are exalted as head over all. 12 Wealth and honor come from you; you are the ruler of all things. In your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all. 13 Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.” I do not know how to reconcile that with my strong tendencies towards freewill, but I do believe those verses. I believe them, but they certainly do not always seem to make sense. Yikes – look at some of the people out there who have wealth and honor! I am reminded of David’s lamentations about the wicked people who are prospering and God reminds David that there is a bigger picture to keep in mind.

If I accept the truth of those verses then being content needs to become a goal that is high on my priority list. How do you experience a sense of contentment, and cultivate a mindset of being content in the midst of a society that profits off of, and hence pushes discontentment? I have three recurring thoughts when I consider how to develop a mindset of being content in much or in little. To experience contentedness, I need to: develop a sense of overflowing gratefulness for that which I do have, have an eternal perspective, and have a perspective that takes into account those people who are in more challenging straits than I am. As I thought about my frustration with the car I realized I was grateful that we had the funds to fix the car and I was grateful to have a car. I thought about the many, many people who lack any form of convenient transportation. I thought about what really matters. My financial goals are really only goals that serve to give me greater freedom to be the woman God has called me to be.

If I can catch myself feeling dissatisfied and in that moment ask myself what I am grateful for, why does this really matter, and how does it compare to the struggles of people near and far then I hope I will reinforce a spirit of contentment. In that spirit of contentment I can seek to do my best while at the same time relinquishing the illusion of control.